5 Months – On the edge of makin’ trouble!

N.B.: You know last month when I said I’d cut down on the number of pictures in a post? Well… it’s probably fewer, but, um, it’s still a lot. Since my CELTA course started and sucked my time away, I just took what I had written before it started and added some of last month’s pictures, mostly at random. Enjoy (and thanks to Nils for sharing some of his pics ) !

As always, click to enlarge the pics for better viewing…

Dearest Torsten,

Except for the feeling of accumulated sleep deprivation which has sunk into my bones (something which is at least 50% my fault, by the way), I find it incredibly hard to believe that five whole months have gone by. Now, it does seem like we’re a long way from when you were born, I guess, but still, weren’t you just 4 months old like, um, yesterday or something?

I have to admit upfront that this month’s post will probably suck, and next month’s may be worse. See, Mama is taking a CELTA course for the next four weeks, and CELTA courses are notorious for sucking down most of the participants’ free time. What this means for us, though, is that Papa, who is officially on paternity leave, will really be on paternity leave, and Mama will probably only see you in the mornings and on weekends for four weeks after five months of being with you almost all the time. Now, don’t get me wrong – Papa spends loads of time with you – but the fact remains that you and I have been together almost all the time since you were born, and I admit it… I’m going to miss you, even though I’m looking forward to taking the class.

While I’m gone, I suspect you’ll decide to learn to scoot across the room, or maybe you’ll break your first tooth or something. Admit it – that’s what you’re planning. The second Mama is out the door, you’ll grow up without me! But really, I suspect I’m going to miss you more than you’ll miss me. Oh sure, you have special Mama smiles and we have lots of fun together, but Papa… well, he’s Papa, and you just adore Papa. Which is just fine with me. As long as there are still special Mama smiles for me in the morning

Ah, but speaking of having fun together, you’ve reached a new and special age where you get bored. This is presenting Mama with loads of challenges throughout the day, because we did not decide to fill this house to the brim with toys the moment you came into the world (you do have toys, lest the Internets think you are neglected – just not boxes and boxes full. Yet.), but I suspect that even lots of toys wouldn’t solve the boredom issue. It’s not that you lack attention span – far from it, you’re terribly interested in things – it’s just that you remember what you did two hours ago and if you’re not yet in the mood for a nap, we’d better find something else new and cool to do. Like dancing. Or airplane. Or looking at the baby in the mirror. Or peek-a-boo while lying on our tummies, an activity which makes me glad that we’re alone in the house and only I know where the video camera is at any given point in time. Mama has been taking you out into the world a lot of late to ease our cabin fever, and that helps, but you’re at a funny stage where you want to do so much more and just can’t quite do it yet. Mama would encourage you to get working on that scooting you’ve been trying to do for the past several weeks if you want real entertainment (and desperate parents).

Oh, and about the scooting – you lie on your tummy, looking at whatever toys Mama has evilly put in front of you just out of your reach, and you attempt to move all of your limbs in such a way that you will somehow reach said toy. Unfortunately, while you do look like someone trying to swim on land, none of these efforts actually result in motion, and after a while, boy do you get ticked off. It’s hard to watch and not pick you up immediately because you’re so frustrated, and I know that once you’re mobile we’re all in trouble, but you want so badly to explore the world and it’s quite clear you’re annoyed at not having the means to do it. It’s simultaneously cute and heartbreaking. What can I say. Don’t worry, kid – I suspect it’s not long in coming (though it would happen a lot faster if you learned to push your torso up one way or another….).

The one thing you’re really excellent at doing (aside from charming every single solitary stranger that meets you – I’m totally serious here), however, is kicking. Not only can you kick those enormous (and cute) feet with vigor and intent, but you like to do it simultaneously with Mama on the floor, and sometimes it seems like you actually understand the word “kick”, because you’ll do it when you hear it. Of course, you kick a lot other times, so who knows. But when Mama decides to kick the floor along with you, you are at first surprised and then highly amused that Mama is imitating you, and you giggle and laugh and the world is a good place.

Not so good is the sleep situation, which is mostly your parents’ issue. You’ve been getting regular naps these days, some on Mama or Papa, and some in your crib, but once you hit four months and Papa started to share nighttime duties with Mama because she was going to have a meltdown, you started to wake up a whole lot more often. Not that I’m blaming Papa – I’ve read that a lot of babies wake up a lot again around four months – but we each have our ways of dealing with you at night, and however it is that it came about, you do wake up quite a few times during the night. It’s ok – splitting the night shift works for Papa and I – but I sometimes worry you don’t get enough sleep.

Then again, you’re so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed first thing in the morning that I’m probably wrong on that account.

Let’s see – what else… at the beginning of this month, we stopped breastfeeding, and it was certainly heartbreaking for Mama. What makes it heartbreaking, though, is that you still try to pull down Mama’s shirt and head for the former food source, and you give me this wicked grin that says, “Eh, Mama, how about it? I’m awfully cute, c’mon, let’s go back to the old way of things. See how cute I am?” And Mama just feels awful, because if she let you nurse (and there was anything left to nurse), you’d get sick from her medication, and that would suck. And let me tell you, your cuteness is nearly impossible to resist.

And last, but not least, as this month ended, you started to eat real food for the first time (if rice cereal watered down with milk can be called “real food”…). You seem to like it – you really chow down (and giggle) when you’re in the mood – but other times, you’re still not entirely sure about it. You’re a pretty neat eater for a baby, even if you do like to shove your fingers into your mouth with the cereal sometimes. It’s fun to watch, but we’re in no hurry to move you on to real food yet, so you can take your time. (And for all of the people in the world who believe that old wives’ tale about cereal making babies sleep better, I can tell them that for Torstens at least, this does not apply.)

Anyway, instead of rattling on more and more, since I’ll probably never finish this if I do, I just wanted to say that watching more and more of Torsten hatch out of the newborn baby you were is amazing. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed in the last five months (and since I’m writing this last paragraph a couple of weeks into the next month, I know the changes are only going to snowball from here for a while), and what a little character you are underneath it all.

I am so blessed to be your Mama, pumpkin. Thank you.

Love,

Mama