Week 35: Super Disco Monster!

34 weeks, 6 days.

Small Monster can move.

No really. The kid has some serious power in them thar little bones. I’ve never felt him move more in a single day, and I’ve certainly never seen so much of it.

Like today – I had to go in and fill out a bunch of paperwork for the baby at the hospital, and there, as big as you please, my entire belly starts to move as the kid decides to shift his feet somewhere. I saw it before I really felt it, actually, which is hilarious, and this went on for some time. Usually if he’s going to do some moving, he does it for a minute or so and quits, but he’s been going on all day. He’s strong enough that sometimes it even feels sort of creepy, but I’ll take moving and a little creepy over too quiet any day

Speaking of today’s mounds of paperwork… I filled out a birth certificate/social security card application for my son today. Um, yeah, read that one again. Right now, in some file waiting to be submitted to the State of Colorado upon his birth, is the information for his birth… certificate. Like, including his name. You know that super-secret name? Yeah. It’s down there on a form in all of its too-long-for-American-birth-certificates glory. (Hint: It is not “Small Monster Grothoff”. Also not “Ghengis”, though the Baby Business class leader did fortunately inform us that the State of Colorado would legally allow us to name our children “Oprah Winfrey” or “George Bush” if we liked. I decided to pass this time…)

So now the hospital knows what all of our birth preferences are, that we will hang them if they give the kid a bottle or circumsize him, that my husband is an evil professor, and that I don’t foresee using aromatherapy services during my labor. Yippee! In return, they told me how to ensure that the hospital denies my existence if anyone calls to see if we’re there. Given the recent drama, we’re going for this option – I seriously don’t want a weepy self-concerned guilt call from the peanut gallery after I’ve just pushed out a 10 pound kid from my naughty bits, or worse, have just been cut open, so I apologize to friends and other family if this makes things more difficult than would otherwise be convenient. That said, if you’re a close personal friend/family member and you want a call when the baby is born (or are one of our crew in town and plan to visit in the hospital), let us know and we’ll work out a way to communicate outside of communicating with the hospital directly – they will refuse any knowledge of us as patients, including deliveries, so they’re pretty serious about this stuff. Thank God.

Anyhow. There was at least something useful today

Still behind on NaNo, but getting caught up. I’d get further caught up, but the bearded guy says it’s bedtime, and I hate missing out on my nightly snuggle. Goodnight, Internets… until tomorrow!